Heat All Around

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

White Haired Confusion

There comes a time in life when mirrors are no longer

your friends. For a while you may try to deny the truth of this through all manner of subterfuge...like drapping yourself in over sized tee-shirts that travel all the way down to your kneecaps...but one day, you'll really wake up to the fact you are not stunningly gorgeous and built like... 

...a brick s_ _t house any longer.

The once blonde mane...

...is now purely white with some sooty gray thrown in so you cannot claim it is just premature whiteness and you're actually a platinum blonde.

And we so do not want to talk about the body and the nasty things gravity does to it. (If I have told my boobs once I have told them a thousand times to stop kissing my kneecaps...

...My kneecaps have the response capability of a dormant bituminous rock.)

Eventually you do settle for the reality of leap-frogging elderliness,

and then, just when you have settled comfortably in batty older than dirtness, along comes,

from out of the blue, men ready willing and more than eager to flirt.

One would be enough to make my roseacea give way to an honest to God blush...but THREE?

Have they stopped prescribing bifocals to men of a certain age?

I mean, Hello? I am rapidly nearing that 60 mark and sixty looks no better the closer you get to it than it did when you thought 30 was over the hill.

Three obviously vision challenged men have suddenly, and yes, sweetly...no overt attack for a quick feel here...let me know they think I am <gulp> pretty...AND they find me...ENCHANTING. My obvious reaction, once I move past the "ARE YOU BLIND?" knee jerk reaction is "WHY?"

I've been around the bend and am stretched thin because of it. The day I can get into a size four flew out the door the moment a teenaged girl came out of a side road talking on her cell phone instead of paying attention to the

 stop sign she was supposed to obey.

Injuries alter body flexibility and of course, shape...which only intensifies with the medications they give you too.

Prednisone...is an instant weight increaser and once increased forget peeling it off in this life time.

Okay, I have a sense of humor.
When you look like a Shar Pei you'd BETTER have a sense of humor!

And yeah, I'm smart...but that used to turn guys away in droves. Now that I am approaching senility, having a sharp mind is APPEALING?

I tried to remember back to when I actually went out with, let alone did anything else with a man...I think his name was Ty...yep..

Ty Rex...so there's been a really, really long dry spell here.

And that means, I am not certain how to take ONE guy calling me pretty and wanting to get to know me...THREE? So again I ask...did they stop giving men of a certain age access to bifocals?


Kat said...

You are so silly.

Roseanne Dowell said...

Ah sweetie, you're not getting older, you're getting better. Haven't you ever heard women are like wine, they get better with age? Not to mention the perks that go with getting older. I for one am enjoying it.

Anita Davison said...

I'm not enjoying it! And I fully intend to remain in complete denial for a while longer - as long as I can in fact. Anyone else want to join me in fantasyland?